Hmm...sounds like fun, right?
Well, I got to thinking about it on Sunday. Not the exact word "confession", but the general idea of realizing hidden sins. Our pastor asked the question, "What is your 'Egypt'?" What is the thing you run to when trials come? What is the habit you return to when you're faced with wilderness and a gnawing hunger? You see, the Israelites were elated, overjoyed when they were freed from slavery in Egypt, but when they couldn't see God's goodness in the desert and instead could only foresee more suffering, they wanted to turn back. They begged to return to slavery. They refused to trust God with their needs and desires.
And that's exactly what I do, too. Oh yeah, I believe that God has freed me and given me everything I need for complete joy. But still....there's this one thing I want to hang onto as if the slavery is better. It's more tangible. I believe it will satisfy me and He will not.
So I was convicted about this. I've belittled sin in my life, as if it isn't a big deal, and all the while it has been chipping away at my relationships with others and alienating me from God.
First, I needed to confess to God. I've had enough of this. This is wrong and I need Your help. I needed to pray for change and really mean it.
But the second step is just as important. I needed to confess to another person. We were made for community and I think one of the ways that fact is evident is in our need for accountability. It's not about drudging up your deepest, darkest secrets and posting them on Facebook...it may just be sharing your struggle with one person. Just one person who will pray with you, for you. Who will come alongside you and urge you to live worthy of His calling.
This sin that I needed to confess last night hinges on the purity of my thought life. As I read blogs and articles about this topic, one of the most helpful pieces of advice I found was simply this: invite Jesus in. That dark, little corner of your mind, that "guilty pleasure" - invite Jesus to shine His light onto it until the lies and fears shrivel in the brilliance of His breathtaking Love.
Old habits die hard because they are the result of lies that reach farther than you may think. For real change to happen, it will take drastic measures. But don't worry: Jesus is the one who will transform you and He is with you always through every storm and struggle.
Lord, I lift this up to You. You know how long it's taken for me to get here...how many times I've refused to give this up. Please help me not to go back. But to trust You completely - that You alone have my very best in mind and Your love is truly all I need. Reassure me that You're always ready to take me back into Your arms. Thank You, Lord.
I’m ready to give up all my sin
But I don’t know where to begin
And I think it’s time to find out
And make that change
I’ve been lonely too
Many days pass by, what’s done is done
I give up my life
I’ve been running through the night
Towards the light, of the sun
Now I’m free
Bring a little love for me
Now sweet love of mine
It’s the morning of a new day
And I thank you Lord for everything
That you’ve done
In me
- Josh Garrels