I want to really give. I don't want to simply press into their hand something that might get them through another day...I want to press into their heart something that will last a lifetime. What is the real need here? Some rich person's pity? Or someone to remind them that we're all human and we all long to be loved?
And then, tonight...it hits me. I'm one of them. I'm the one so needy with cup raised high...asking God for a little something to get me through the day. God, could You give me health so I can get through finals? God, could You just give me answers so I won't have to doubt anymore? God, could You change these circumstances so I could have an easier life?
And He's saying "no." No, child, that's not what you really need. I see your deepest need. And I will fill your cup. It will be hard. You will try to fight me. But trust Me: everything I give you is to answer your greatest desire - to be loved. This is harder...but it's better. And I will be with you every step of the way.
That He sees me in all my mess and brokenness and gives me what I need despite all my complaining and doubting...so much more than I ever asked for...that is Love. It stirs me to finally open my hands to whatever He gives and challenges me to love like that.