You see, for the past several years, I've had dream after dream of someone chasing me. Always I would end up running into a house, locking the doors and windows, and....hiding. I wondered why these dreams kept returning, but didn't think much of them until a few weeks ago. Recently I've been dealing with some lies and fears I've struggled with all throughout my life, and I've realized that my response to challenges is often to hide. When a difficult test in school comes along, I just want to avoid thinking about it....thereby "hiding" from it in my mind. When I have to make a big decision, I want to run from it. When I'm faced with initiating in relationships where I think I might be rejected or ignored, I often hide within myself to avoid the possibility of pain.
As I took these first steps in my journey of healing, I finally put two and two together: my dreams are a picture of what I do in real life. When an intruder comes in my dreams, I hide. When real-life trials come my way, I hide.
My dream yesterday was not just any ordinary dream. For the first time I can remember, I confronted the intruder instead of running away. I was still terrified, but as in real life, I was beginning to learn that I don't have to be the victim of fear.
God invites us to come out of hiding and enter into the glorious freedom He has waiting for us in Christ.
Two truths especially have helped me to step out of hiding:
1. When I hide, I am saying "God, You are not enough. I'm going to deal with this fear on my own and rely on myself."
2. Satan is deathly afraid of God, His glory in us, and the freedom that can be ours if we only accept it.
I realized the first statement as I was reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. (It's an amazing book about women finding their identity in Christ.) The authors explain that all of us find ways to protect or save ourselves when we are faced with loss, rejection, or any kind of trials. We fight for ourselves and find our own solutions instead of coming to God for help. We basically say to God, "I don't need You" and end up in a worse place than we were before. But God continues to invite us to be vulnerable and find our strength in Him.
The second truth should actually be quite obvious to us. God is SO much greater than satan, so satan of course, fears God. Satan, in turn, works to instill fear in us because fear, in turn, motivates us to do evil things. Just look at the tyrants in history...Hitler, Nero, and others...why did they oppress and kill? They were afraid. They were afraid of losing their power and their position. We know satan as the "father of lies," but we may just as well call him the "father of fear." After all, fear is often the result of his lies. If he can imprison us with fear, he can keep us from living the glorious life we have in Christ.
But there's hope. God is ready to break our chains as soon as we ask Him for healing. He will come and deliver us. He will fight for you and me. He is, after all, our Savior.
As Tenth Avenue North sings, "too scared to face all your fear, so you hide, but you find that the shame won't disappear....there's freedom waiting in the sound when you let your walls fall to the ground."