But my excitement is a little tampered by a grade I got on one of my finals. Honestly I didn't study as much as I should have and so I got a grade lower than I hoped for.
So many times when this sort of thing happens, my initial response is to give into regret and frustration. I beat myself over the head until eventually I'm distracted by something else in my life and those negative feelings fade away.
However, this time I'm trying to live differently. God's been teaching me some truths and I need to believe them.
1. He is good. No matter the circumstances, He is always good.
2. He is my Redeemer. He can take anything - whether it's something that's happened to me or a mistake I've made - and turn it into something good. I think this is the way He has "overcome the world" (John 16:33). He takes even the worst things the enemy throws at us and turns them around into blessings for us.
3. I can choose joy...right now. Too long I have given into the lie that joy is a feeling that comes and goes, and for the most part, I have to live in fear and shame. So not true!! God wants me to live in joy always.
4. I am defined by His love. I am not defined by grades, musical talent, what people think of me...all that is temporary. No, my identity is in Him; I am His child forever.
I'm amazed (sadly) at how many times I haven't believed these truths. I often choose to cling to negativity (anger, fear, regret...) when I should be simply clinging to Him and holding on to His promises. As a Christian, I should know better. But God is taking my hand and gently leading me into deeper trust in Him, and I'm thankful for each lesson He gives me.
If I am rejecting the joy that is hidden somewhere deep in this moment - am I not ultimately rejecting God? Whenever I am blind to joy's well, isn't it because I don't believe in God's care? ... In His presence is fullness of joy. He is here in this moment. -Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts