You are beautiful. Inside as well as on the outside. You are worth protecting. You are worth listening to. You are my equal and peer. I value you. I enjoy being with you. I love you. I love you – as my sister and my friend. Yes, you are also my friend. You are not someone to be bullied or put down, ridiculed or mocked, picked apart or silenced. No, I want to lift you up into who you can be...into the person you were wonderfully created to be. I see worth and value in you. I love our differences. I love our relationship. I love all the unique things you bring to the table – to this table…to our relationship. The world is a better place because of you. I’m glad you’re in this world. I’m glad you’re in my life. I’m glad that you are a part of our family, yes, this family. I’m so glad that you are my sister and that I am yours. You are creative and beautiful and unique. You are powerful and courageous and strong. You have unique gifts that I can learn from. You can actually be my teacher in some areas of life where I still need to learn and grow. I want and need to learn from you. Though you are younger than me and have not had the same experiences as I have...that does not negate your value or worth or what you have to offer to me or to this world. You simply have different experiences and thoughts to bring to this world. You’ve thought long and hard about things that matter, about issues of importance...and I see that. I see your worth and your value. Your significance.
And I honor that. I honor you. I give weight and significance to what you say. I want to lean in and receive and digest what you share with me. Thank you for sharing this with me. Thank you for entrusting me with your deepest, most intimate and important thoughts and feelings.
I need you. I need you in my life. You add so much to my life. I can learn from you...and I do. You add so much to my life: so much beauty...so much wisdom...so much creativity...so much uniqueness...so much love...so much worth...so much purpose...so much thought...so much grace and kindness...so much compassion.
And I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the ways I’ve treated you. For all the times I’ve dismissed you. For all the things I said that belittled you...that made you question your worth...your value...your significance. I’m sorry that I mocked you. I’m sorry that I ridiculed you...so ruthlessly. I’m sorry that I laughed at you...when you were just trying so hard to communicate with me, to express your feelings – both the beauty inside of you and the hurt that I caused you.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the times that my words stung you. I’m sorry for all the times that I favored someone else over you: a friend, a neighbor, a boyfriend...at the expense of spending time with you...at the expense of saying, both with my words and my actions: “I love you. I delight in you. I enjoy you. I am glad – so glad – to have you as my sister.”
I’m sorry for blaming you. I’m sorry for acting in jealousy and resentment towards you. I’m sorry for using you as my scapegoat – blaming you when really it was my own pain that I was reacting to and refusing to deal with.
I’m sorry for blaming you for stealing our parents’ attention away from me. You were never the problem...and you are not the problem now. I’m sorry for acting like you were. I know that you’ve already forgiven me. But I want to hear you say it to me. Look into my eyes and speak it over my wounded heart:
Yes, I forgive you.
It is over and done.
As Christ forgave me...yes, even as He dared to forgive me and love me this much...so I forgive you.
And as we grasp each others’ hands...and as we look into each other’s eyes...with no more animosity, no more bitterness or resentment or pride or blaming or lying anymore...with only grace and mercy and kindness and compassion and Love for each other...we can truly say:
This is the beginning of a new relationship. We’re not going back to the way things were. Let the past bury the past. Let that old relationship decay and utterly die… Because this is what we want… Because this is so much better… Because this is worth sacrificing for.
Let this new relationship take the place of the old… let it grow and deepen and blossom, bearing fruit for all those around us. Let it be a kingdom relationship – one that bears fruit and brings glory to our King: to our Lord and Savior and Redeemer. The Restorer and Reconciler of everything.
So that anyone passing by will look and see, and will behold the greatness of our God.