As I read "Every Bitter Thing is Sweet" (book review below), I was struck by Sara Hagerty's insight into the process of adoption. She describes the trips to Africa, the obtaining of visas, the first meeting with each of her children...but it's when they all come home that the real, deep, heart-wrenching work begins. These children are accustomed to poverty - not just materially speaking, but also in the way of love. The Hagertys' compassion is foreign, unnatural. And the children don't give in easily. One of them tells her new mother, "you're a bad, bad mommy" with all the hate she can muster. But Sara sees past the bitterness into a heart that's bruised and broken. She responds gently, but persistently. "I love you. No matter what you do, I love you."
And in this story, I find a picture of my own life. Every time I've rebelled or run from God, it's because I don't believe in His love. I choose something "better" and then when I realize I'm in the wrong, I run even further from Him in shame and guilt. He wants me back, but I just want to put up my defenses. Try to fend for myself, save myself. After all this, He can't possibly love me. ....Or can He?
Written in Scripture, written on my life, I discover a God who leans in. When I'm weak and falling apart, He leans in with His strength. When I fail Him miserably, He leans in with tender, passionate grace. I think that I can scare Him off with all my sin, but He sees these times of falling as an opportunity to give me assurances of His love. To prove His grace is, and always has been, enough.
And then, He calls me to go and do likewise. When others fail and I'm tempted to respond with irritation, anger, and hardness of heart, He wants me to lean in. To see their stumblings as cries for help....for love.
Today...
if you hear His voice...
do not harden your hearts...